Initial description of John in a story I’m working on right now, which I am pleased with: “a severely thin man in oversized black glasses.” (No you’re not gonna see the story cos IT’S PORN.) (And yes I am aware that the first half of that does not apply to him anymore but IN MY FANTASY WORLD IT STILL DOES AND ALWAYS WILL.)
I am noticing that my non-slash fics (and even some of those) are very often “Tragic Things Happen to John Linnell.” For some reason it’s just very satisfying to write about him that way. He wears tragedy well. He has the whole Tortured Artistic Soul thing going on already with the heartbreaking lyrics he writes, so I think it makes sense to write about him having his heart broken. But it does make me feel kinda guilty sometimes.
Hey so I wrote a poem about getting Nanobots today. It’s not exactly one of the best things I’ve ever written but it does accurately summarize the feelings I had about getting it. I do want to note that, yeh, I’m only talking about the album in terms of John, but that does not mean I don’t think Flans has some really fucking great songs on this album too—it’s just when you’re desperately in love with someone you tend to think of things in terms of him, you know?
So I wrote a new TMBG fic tonight for the first time in awhile. Yes, it’s John/John. If you’re morally opposed to slash then move along, move along. It did not go how I expected it to go, but I think it came out ok anyway. I still need to put together a list of links to all my fics—when I’ve done that I’ll let y’all know.
Just realized that my main character’s love interest in the novel I’m writing right now is basically turning into John Linnell. This is not to be confused with the novel I wrote in August where the main character’s love interest was basically John Linnell, or the novel I wrote in ‘09 which had a slashy high school Johns subplot that basically became way more important than it had any right to, or the other novel I have in progress right now that I’m not even trying to pretend isn’t a thinly fictionalized version of John and me. WELCOME TO MY LIFE.
FACT: When you’re writing a novel, if you take a break and put the TMBG version of “Savoy Truffle” on, YOU WILL HAVE TO STOP WRITING WHATEVER SCENE YOU’RE WRITING AND WRITE SEX INSTEAD. IT WILL JUST HAPPEN. John Linnell your hotnessssssssss IT IS OVERPOWERING ME.
So I write poetry about John sometimes. Well, I write poetry about John quite a lot actually, but most of it is of a variety that I am not comfortable sharing here. But here is one that I thought might be all right. I wrote it two weeks ago, the day Flans was making him answer that stuff on Twitter and then they were on Conan. It’s called “Double Punch.” I suppose it does sound rather…obsessive but I guess that’s not exactly news to anyone here is it?
A day full of too much excitement over you.
I learned that you read Proust, I learned that
Your coffee of choice is cheap, strong, and Cuban,
That you love “the spaces between the chords.”
This alone was enough
To leave my hands unable to remain stationary,
To leave my short-circuited brain
Unable to compute the steps to basic tasks I can do automatically
On most days.
My consuming love for you
Makes anything that lifts that mysterious veil you are usually shrouded in,
Even just a tiny bit,
Exciting beyond my ability to calmly handle.
But that was not all, because then
There was me getting to watch you, looking
Inhumanly gorgeous in a chocolate jacket,
Singing to me, directly to me and no one else—
Your bastard anthem and
That other song, the one so deep it is
In part scrawled indelibly across my left forearm.
Every little move you made, your grins and your
Jumps and your arm in the air when you called your own name,
Most of all your little dance at the very end,
Shameless and adorable in its dorkiness,
Made me fall for you a little bit deeper
As I’m always sure is no longer possible
But always manage to do just the same.