The healing doesn't stop the feeling.

Good luck selling that

There’s a “Birdhouse in Your Soul” teapot on Etsy and it’s $275 and it gets the lyric wrong

So hot

Today I was at Value Village, as I often am, and they have tons of Halloween stuff out. I wasn’t looking for anything but I was walking by to get to another section, and I happened to glance at some little “nerd kit” thing, which featured terrible teeth and big black glasses, and I was like “Yep, pretty much.”

Intelligent design

"We’re willing to sleep with beautiful women," says Flansburgh hopefully (the Giants are single).

(Source: museumofidiots.com)

  • (2014-09-28 17: 31:22) typewrittengirl: sometime i'm gonna count how many times flans says "ladies and gentlemen" in a show
  • (2014-09-28 17: 32:37) antgeth: nah
  • (2014-09-28 17: 32:40) antgeth: you can't count that high

Prices at the ubiquitous cafes are torqued up to tourist specifications throughout town. This hasn’t dissuaded me from slarfing down cup after steaming cup of cappuccino until I begin interrupting my own conversation with myself to express my disagreement. When I’m caffeinated to the point where I can no longer sit still I lurch out and look for some daytime excitement.

—John Linnell

(Source: museumofidiots.com)

tmbgareok:

these swimming puppies have questions about Benghazi 

OMG Flans

tmbgareok:

these swimming puppies have questions about Benghazi

OMG Flans

Best. Costume. Ever.

Was telling Ant about going to Value Village today, where they have the Halloween costumes out, and of course there’s the usual array of “Sexy _____” for women (including Sexy Mario and Sexy Luigi, which I think has to win some sort of award for most inappropriate).

Anyway, he asked me if they had “Sexy Old Man,” which THEY TOTALLY SHOULD. I said that would obviously have to come with a toy accordion and black glasses, and he said, “Don’t forget the fake bad teeth!” and you know what? I think they do have those—they call them, like, “Hillbilly Teeth” or something like that. Well WHATEVER.

And then I was sad, because I could totally dress up like John if I didn’t have this damn ridiculous thick curly hair (I’ve certainly never seen a floppy-hair wig—THEY CANNOT REPLICATE JOHN’S HAIR BECAUSE IT IS TOO AMAZING) and if I still had my pair of glasses like his. I already have an accordion and, like, half his wardrobe, soooooooooooo.

No, we’re going on the road for six months, so my side-project is gonna be eating chicken wings at three in the morning.

—John Flansburgh

(Source: museumofidiots.com)

  • "Because there are only two of us we tend to get polarised a lot. You know, if one guy's the skinny guy, the other one's got to be the fat guy! There are people in the world who are a lot more shy than Linnell!"
  • "And there are bigger loudmouths than him!"