This was one of the pictures of John I found on my very first day of being in love with him when, needless to say, I didn’t have quite as many pictures of him as I do now. So I made the filename “johnbeingcute.jpg,” which obviously I could only apply to THOUSANDS OF OTHER PICTURES at this point, but you gotta admit he is pretty damn cute here.
GOD I miss the bari sax. It sounded awesome and also it was SO FUCKING SEXY. Not like accordion-level sexy of course, but damn sexy.
When I talked to John at the second instore I went to I asked him if he was getting another one (for those of y’all who don’t know what happened was it got fucking stolen from backstage at a show in London) and he was like “Oh yeh yeh I’m just waiting for the insurance money to come through” and I said “Good! I miss it” and he said “Yeh, me too” and seemed all wistful about it. SO WTF DUDE? It’s not like he doesn’t have the money now, Mr. DISNEY SUPERDOUGH. I know he thinks he can get away with playing the sax songs on bass clarinet, but it just is not the same at all.
Ok so I don’t think it’s a secret that I’m reallyyyyyyyyyyyyy turned on when John plays accordion, but watching him play keyboard doesn’t do much for me at all, which is unfortunate because of course that’s what he does most of the time these days, cos he’s a BUM. I mean yes of course I’m all turned on seeing him play keyboard because I’m all turned on seeing him do ANYTHING AT ALL, but I’m not like extra-EXTRA-turned on when I see him doing it like I am with accordion.
You know what I think a big part of the problem is though? With the height of his keyboard stand at a show, you can’t actually see him playing it. Like, you see his arms moving around of course, but you don’t see his hands on the keys. Because when they’re filmed for a video and there’s a shot where you can actually see his hands like this one, GODDAMN LOOK AT THAT, KEYBOARD SUDDENLY GOT A HELL OF A LOT SEXIER.
But even when you do see his hands it still isn’t nearly as hot as accordion. Accordion will always be the ULTIMATE in John Linnell Instrument-Based Sexiness. I think mainly it’s because, well, not too many people play accordion, so it’s something that seems more distinctively him. Of course there are some other guys playing accordion, but nothing like the number of random fucks playing keyboard. Because John is the sexiest, things that are rather uniquely associated with him are also the sexiest.
(And also there’s the fact that accordions are fuckin’ heavy so he’s showing off his MANLY STRENGTH which is why it like makes me cry that he’s so insistent on sticking with that stupid fucking tiny 911 these days, goddamn him.)
John how is even just watching you drink a bottle of water really fucking hot I DON’T UNDERSTAND
Sometimes I get tempted to post REALLY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT things about John here but then I remember that SOMETIMES TMBG ARE OK REBLOGS THINGS MEANING THEY MUST BE LOOKING AT THE #TMBG TAG AT LEAST OCCASIONALLY and yehhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t exactly feel too comfortable with that. So be relieved that you’re being saved from hearing about my crazy John Linnell fantasies, y’all. Or disappointed, depending.