The healing doesn't stop the feeling.

Last night’s dream

Will Ferrell was hosting SNL and he started talking about Birdhouse, I think as a combination of it working so well as a “hey I forgot about that song but now I remember it and it’s so catchy and it’s gonna be stuck in my head” song and the fact that I’ve been repeating it for a day and a half.

Then he said something about a harbor full of boats and all the boats had to be sending up a Birdhouse signal or it would stop existing.

Then I had my eyes closed but people started cheering and I figured that meant The Johns had come out, so I opened my eyes, but I opened them for real and I woke up, so I didn’t get to see what The Johns would’ve done in an SNL sketch. Sad sad.

So I had another crazy TMBG-related dream a couple of nights ago. The first part involved me being held prisoner with my 12 siblings by Bill Nye, who had hooks for hands (I DON’T EVEN KNOW OK), but then later someone brought me a box of A BUNCH OF CRAZY TMBG CASSETTES FROM THE 80’S THAT WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED. I WAS FLIPPING OUT Y’ALL. They definitely looked like demos and stuff, very homemade.

The one I remember had something that looked like this picture (which I just posted a couple days before so it was on my mind I guess) as the cover but I think it was supposed to be from something other than DLS:

The cover was green and clearly photocopied and it was called Plasma as a Means of Plastic Production. I have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS but I think I have to steal it and use it as a title for something or other myself—UNLESS TMBG WANTS TO ACTUALLY USE IT. I’d be ok with that.

Oh and also it came with some kind of press release thing, and it said “John Linnell is cool and John Flansburgh is a bart one!” I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS EITHER but I think it is possibly based on a thing I saw on this Tumblr of scans from Sassy that said that in Portland at the time they would use the term “jake” to mean cool.

WTF subconscious

So last night I had a dream that involved being at a show where John broke both his legs, was shirtless and had icing all over his chest to look like tattoos, had a basset hound birthday cake for me, and then transformed into a basset hound. Um???

So I just had a dream with an entirely non sequiter quote in it (“I’m going to play with my Barbie because I need another oil spill,” if you’re curious), and I was thinking about how AMAZING it was, and how my subconscious (and presumably most everyone’s) is just so WHAT.

But then of course like EVERY SINGLE THING THAT EVER HAPPENS TO ME EVER, I had to connect this to TMBG somehow. It made me think of all the purely WTF things in their songs (particularly John’s of course), and how I can think of insane shit like this while I’m dreaming but they just DO IT ALL THE TIME. And I decided that The Johns just both have unique minds with a very, very thin membrane between their subconscious and conscious selves—that the connection between them is not nearly as thick as it is for most people, so they are able to access these completely bizarre things that us silly average types have in there somewhere but can’t normally get at, and that’s how they write the incredible songs they do.

Of course, even if the rest of us could connect to that part of ourselves more easily we sure as hell couldn’t make the genius songs The Johns do—I’m certainly not saying we would all be writing that stuff if our minds were different. Just that, yeh, I really do think having stuff in their heads set up differently is part of what’s making things happen for them.


Last night’s dream: John was in high school and he was like 20’ tall and he was all nerdy (BECAUSE HE’S JOHN LINNELL) but then he dressed up as a Sasquatch and got picked as homecoming king and everyone was all surprised.

Three TMBG dreams I’ve had in the last week

1. I was buying this TV dinner and it said all this stuff on it about how it was supposed to be based on the Russian Mafia “but it’s easy to pretend to be that, look at TMBGiants’ early explosion of success”

2. I downloaded this mp3 which was supposed to be a bootleg of “Thunderbird” segueing into “No Answer” and I was like “OMFG LIVE VERSION OF ‘NO ANSWER’ WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT.” Then the “Thunderbird” part turned out to actually be Them doing a cover of “Fun Fun Fun” (as in the Beach Boys song that “Thunderbird” references) instead, which made it even crazier. I don’t remember what the “No Answer” part was like, sadly.

3. The first part was just Beauty and the Beast, but then the Beast suddenly turned into being The Johns instead. They were starting this pizza company but a bunch of people were mad at them and saying the pizzas were bad even though they weren’t really. Then Flans was supposed to be getting interviewed by this famous TV chef guy, and I was there (JOHN WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU). Then Flans was looking at me all “Well?” cos apparently I was supposed to be the one interviewing him. I was all nervous because I wasn’t prepared but I was doing my best. Then he brought out a typewriter and I was like “OMG TYPEWRITER” (I completely adore typewriters and use them to write sometimes) and he was like “I KNOW AREN’T THEY THE BEST.” Then I asked him if he’d used them to write any of his AWESOME SONGS but that’s right when my fucking alarm went off, so we’ll never know, sigh.

Two TMBG dreams last night!

1. I was watching a video which was presumably about Here Comes Science and it involved The Johns messing around with a bunch of chemistry equipment and OMG it was so hottttttttttt

2. There was a woman who had two dalmatians, and one of them ran away, and she got her to come back by singing “She’s an Angel” (I don’t know if “Angel” was her name maybe??)

A Dream I Had Last Night

I was in an arcade with a friend of mine and I was going to play a game that consisted of listening to Blues Brothers songs and using a stylus to write the lyrics on the screen as they played. One of the songs it assigned me was “Ana Ng” and my friend was like “That’s a cover??” I told him the deal was that John wrote the song but he’d just taken the title from the Blues Brothers. But then the song played and it was in fact the “Ana Ng” we all know and love. I was quite shocked.

So I had this dream about John the night before last. I can’t tell you the details cos it was DIRTY AS HELL but I will share that it was, for some reason, Bad Boy John—he had tattoos and was smoking, WHAT. I definitely don’t think I picked that part out (it was a lucid dream) but it was pretty damn amusing. (And yes, I realize that having tattoos—hell, I have tattoos—and smoking are not actually that rebellious but they’re still not things I can picture John Linnell doing at allllllllll.)

So last night I had a dream that I cut off my leg and taped it in my journal, but then I decided it was gonna get gross and so I threw it away (yeh, I have a lot of SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP dreams ok). Excerpt from my discussion with Apollo about it:

(4:42:15 PM) typewrittengirl: oh my leg was gonna grow back
(4:42:18 PM) typewrittengirl: but idk why i cut it off
(4:42:32 PM) apollonum: maybe you were the guy in montana
(4:42:37 PM) apollonum: new headcanon
(4:42:44 PM) apollonum: he cut off his leg
(4:42:49 PM) apollonum: that’s why he’s in the hospital
(4:42:53 PM) apollonum: he’s from montana, right?
(4:42:56 PM) apollonum: and he wants to secede
(4:42:58 PM) apollonum: from the union
(4:43:03 PM) apollonum: so he’s trying to cut montana off
(4:43:08 PM) apollonum: but then he realises he cut off his leg
(4:43:10 PM) apollonum: and he’s like “oops”