The healing doesn't stop the feeling.

Early this morning, while I was sleeping, my computer suddenly started blasting “Cowtown.” I’m assuming my apartment isn’t haunted and it was just my kitty—I’d been repeating “Ana Ng” last night and it would’ve been easy to just move Foobar to the next song, and walking across my keyboard to make stuff happen is one of her favourite things to do. But it was still rather unsettling. Thank god it was just “Cowtown” and not, like, Dial-A-Song “Token Back to Brooklyn” (my personal pick for MOST TERRIFYING TMBG SONG EVER).

After I fell back asleep I had a dream that a bunch of Flansongs (I don’t remember which ones) had backwards messages in them about dinosaurs. I was saying how it was so silly and John would never do something so ridiculous, but secretly I thought it was awesome cos DINOSAURS HELL YEH.

So last night I had this dream that I accidentally traveled back in time to 1985 and I was like “um ok I already lived through the 80’s this isn’t really that exciting” but then I was like “OMG WAIT” so OF COURSE I WENT TO NEW YORK AND WENT TO A MILLION SHOWS BACK WHEN TMBG WAS STILL COOL which is without a doubt absolutely what I would do if I could travel back in time.

There was a part where I was on an elevator with The Johns before a show and they were wearing dresses. For some reason. So of course the first thing I thought of when I woke up was this picture:

image

(I don’t know if it’s big enough to read the caption there but it says, “Linnell says their folks like the band because, among other reasons, ‘we don’t wear dresses.’”)

Flans was wearing a very old-fashioned one, complete with an old-lady sort of huge leather purse. John was wearing a floral-print one that actually looked pretty cute on him. I mean ok ok I actually can’t think of a single thing I’ve seen John wear ever that hasn’t looked either cute or sexy on him, but y’know. And then Flans told me they’d sewn it themselves and I was impressed. I was trying to chat John up of course but he was having none of it cos he’s a jerkface.

Y’all I had this totally ridiculous beard dream where John was some kind of Wild West outlaw BUT AT LEAST IT SORT OF MADE SENSE THEN

Last night’s dream

Will Ferrell was hosting SNL and he started talking about Birdhouse, I think as a combination of it working so well as a “hey I forgot about that song but now I remember it and it’s so catchy and it’s gonna be stuck in my head” song and the fact that I’ve been repeating it for a day and a half.

Then he said something about a harbor full of boats and all the boats had to be sending up a Birdhouse signal or it would stop existing.

Then I had my eyes closed but people started cheering and I figured that meant The Johns had come out, so I opened my eyes, but I opened them for real and I woke up, so I didn’t get to see what The Johns would’ve done in an SNL sketch. Sad sad.

So I had another crazy TMBG-related dream a couple of nights ago. The first part involved me being held prisoner with my 12 siblings by Bill Nye, who had hooks for hands (I DON’T EVEN KNOW OK), but then later someone brought me a box of A BUNCH OF CRAZY TMBG CASSETTES FROM THE 80’S THAT WE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW EXISTED. I WAS FLIPPING OUT Y’ALL. They definitely looked like demos and stuff, very homemade.

The one I remember had something that looked like this picture (which I just posted a couple days before so it was on my mind I guess) as the cover but I think it was supposed to be from something other than DLS:

The cover was green and clearly photocopied and it was called Plasma as a Means of Plastic Production. I have NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS but I think I have to steal it and use it as a title for something or other myself—UNLESS TMBG WANTS TO ACTUALLY USE IT. I’d be ok with that.

Oh and also it came with some kind of press release thing, and it said “John Linnell is cool and John Flansburgh is a bart one!” I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS EITHER but I think it is possibly based on a thing I saw on this Tumblr of scans from Sassy that said that in Portland at the time they would use the term “jake” to mean cool.

WTF subconscious

So last night I had a dream that involved being at a show where John broke both his legs, was shirtless and had icing all over his chest to look like tattoos, had a basset hound birthday cake for me, and then transformed into a basset hound. Um???

So I just had a dream with an entirely non sequiter quote in it (“I’m going to play with my Barbie because I need another oil spill,” if you’re curious), and I was thinking about how AMAZING it was, and how my subconscious (and presumably most everyone’s) is just so WHAT.

But then of course like EVERY SINGLE THING THAT EVER HAPPENS TO ME EVER, I had to connect this to TMBG somehow. It made me think of all the purely WTF things in their songs (particularly John’s of course), and how I can think of insane shit like this while I’m dreaming but they just DO IT ALL THE TIME. And I decided that The Johns just both have unique minds with a very, very thin membrane between their subconscious and conscious selves—that the connection between them is not nearly as thick as it is for most people, so they are able to access these completely bizarre things that us silly average types have in there somewhere but can’t normally get at, and that’s how they write the incredible songs they do.

Of course, even if the rest of us could connect to that part of ourselves more easily we sure as hell couldn’t make the genius songs The Johns do—I’m certainly not saying we would all be writing that stuff if our minds were different. Just that, yeh, I really do think having stuff in their heads set up differently is part of what’s making things happen for them.

I DON’T KNOW

Last night’s dream: John was in high school and he was like 20’ tall and he was all nerdy (BECAUSE HE’S JOHN LINNELL) but then he dressed up as a Sasquatch and got picked as homecoming king and everyone was all surprised.

Three TMBG dreams I’ve had in the last week

1. I was buying this TV dinner and it said all this stuff on it about how it was supposed to be based on the Russian Mafia “but it’s easy to pretend to be that, look at TMBGiants’ early explosion of success”

2. I downloaded this mp3 which was supposed to be a bootleg of “Thunderbird” segueing into “No Answer” and I was like “OMFG LIVE VERSION OF ‘NO ANSWER’ WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT.” Then the “Thunderbird” part turned out to actually be Them doing a cover of “Fun Fun Fun” (as in the Beach Boys song that “Thunderbird” references) instead, which made it even crazier. I don’t remember what the “No Answer” part was like, sadly.

3. The first part was just Beauty and the Beast, but then the Beast suddenly turned into being The Johns instead. They were starting this pizza company but a bunch of people were mad at them and saying the pizzas were bad even though they weren’t really. Then Flans was supposed to be getting interviewed by this famous TV chef guy, and I was there (JOHN WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU). Then Flans was looking at me all “Well?” cos apparently I was supposed to be the one interviewing him. I was all nervous because I wasn’t prepared but I was doing my best. Then he brought out a typewriter and I was like “OMG TYPEWRITER” (I completely adore typewriters and use them to write sometimes) and he was like “I KNOW AREN’T THEY THE BEST.” Then I asked him if he’d used them to write any of his AWESOME SONGS but that’s right when my fucking alarm went off, so we’ll never know, sigh.

Two TMBG dreams last night!

1. I was watching a video which was presumably about Here Comes Science and it involved The Johns messing around with a bunch of chemistry equipment and OMG it was so hottttttttttt

2. There was a woman who had two dalmatians, and one of them ran away, and she got her to come back by singing “She’s an Angel” (I don’t know if “Angel” was her name maybe??)