And for what it’s worth the TMBG song that creeps me out the absolute MOST is actually a Flansong: The demo of “Token Back to Brooklyn,” jesus CHRIST. Jesus CHRIST. There are other songs that creep me out a hell of a lot but that is the only one that does so much that I just can’t even listen to it. I am somewhat creeped out by the Long Tall Weekend version but not to the point of it being unlistanable, since it removed the “GET AWAAAAAAAAY” and the “killed our parents” line which are THE TWO VERY WORST PARTS. So yeh Flans can be pretty goddamn creepy too, but I just think John does it a whole lot more often.
(Sidenote: I like that I’ve apparently already added “Flansong” to the Firefox dictionary cos it’s not trying to spellcheck it. LEGIT WORD. IT SHOULD BE IN THE OED.)
*obligatory post about how of course John’s insane level of creepiness doesn’t actually make me love him even a tiny bit less and I’m actually rather drawn to it in a way but it just makes me have to hide a little sometimes but I didn’t want anyone to think I was serious about not understanding why I’m in love with him just cos he’s so creepy which I don’t think anyone actually would but I get so paranoid about anyone thinking I’m actually criticizing him*
I swear to fucking god THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HIM. He manages to make fucking CHILDREN’S SONGS CREEPY.
Like, “The House at the Top of the Tree” sounds all cute and silly right BUT THEN YOU GET TO THE END AND IT’S ALL LIKE “OH BTW IF THE DOG HAD BEEN EVEN SLIGHTLY LATER WITH THOSE POTATO CHIPS THEN THAT MOUSE WAS GONNA FUCKING EAT YOU LOL.” Are these the kind of bedtime stories he would tell Henry? All cute and innocent and then SUDDENLY TERRIFYING and then “OK GOODNIGHT SWEET DREAMS!”
And of course let’s not forget about the entirely logical decision of “Hmmm I have this really upsetting song about STRANGLING YOURSELF TO DEATH, hey I know what I’ll do I’LL CHANGE THAT SO IT’S A KIDS’ SONG THAT IS WHERE THIS IDEA LEADS ME.” Um what. WHAT.
And I don’t know how many people agree with me about this but “Sleepwalkers” is creepy as fuck too. LITTLE ARMY OF ZOMBIE CHILDREN? It seems like they want something but we don’t know what it is. IT’S YOUR BLOOD, JOHN. OBVIOUSLY.
So, in summary, John Linnell is secretly a serial killer. Just so you know.
*puts on the ‘85 Demo tape*
*forgets about “When It Rains It Snows” being the second track*
*is suddenly listening to it at 2 a.m. in the dark all alone*
*cowers under a blanket*
*tries to console self with fact that it doesn’t have THE PAUSE FOREVER WHICH IS THE MOST TERRIFYING PART but keeps cowering anyway*
This was one of the pictures of John I found on my very first day of being in love with him when, needless to say, I didn’t have quite as many pictures of him as I do now. So I made the filename “johnbeingcute.jpg,” which obviously I could only apply to THOUSANDS OF OTHER PICTURES at this point, but you gotta admit he is pretty damn cute here.
GOD I miss the bari sax. It sounded awesome and also it was SO FUCKING SEXY. Not like accordion-level sexy of course, but damn sexy.
When I talked to John at the second instore I went to I asked him if he was getting another one (for those of y’all who don’t know what happened was it got fucking stolen from backstage at a show in London) and he was like “Oh yeh yeh I’m just waiting for the insurance money to come through” and I said “Good! I miss it” and he said “Yeh, me too” and seemed all wistful about it. SO WTF DUDE? It’s not like he doesn’t have the money now, Mr. DISNEY SUPERDOUGH. I know he thinks he can get away with playing the sax songs on bass clarinet, but it just is not the same at all.